Finding Contentment

This week has been one of reflection for me. My sweet Granny passed away and we laid her to rest in a beautiful service. I feel like anytime you have to deal with death closely, it brings up thoughts about how you are living your life. After all, none of us are promised tomorrow. Throughout the week and the service I kept thinking about my Granny and how she lived her life. As sad as it is to have to let someone go, there is a peace I have because I know she lived a long, full and happy life. She did this not because her life was always full and happy, but because she chose to live that way.

If I can take one thing away from my Granny it would be her ability to find contentment. In my memories of her, she was almost always smiling or laughing. Not because she never had anything to be sad or angry or upset about, but because she chose to focus on the good parts of life. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in things that don't really matter and let the obstacles or the stress take our focus. Unless it is life altering, we should strive to find the joy in other areas of our lives while we work to improve the others. This is something that I try hard to do. Life isn't perfect and it shouldn't be. We would never grow and learn if it was.

Finding contentment sounds easy, but how do we get there? For the most part, I consider myself to be a happy, optimistic person. I think a lot of this is because I do something that my Granny did all the time. It's such a simple thing most of the time. Be Grateful. If you choose to take the time to be grateful for what you have, the small things, the big things, all of the things, it is hard to feel bad. It's important to not take things for granted. The fact that you woke up today. That is a huge thing that many of us assume we're entitled to. We're not. And we won't always have that luxury. Each day is precious. I've heard many people use that word when talking about my granny too. Precious. The definition of precious is something that is of great value and not to be wasted or treated carelessly. Life is precious, the people and relationships in our lives are precious. Choice is precious. Don't waste your choice. Choose gratitude and to focus on the good things you've been blessed with.

Sometimes it's a little (or a lot) harder than that. Sometimes life sends us really hard things to endure. Sometimes it's harder to focus on the good. When we lose someone we love, when someone hurts us, when it feels like life is stacking the deck against us. Finding gratitude and contentment is hard during those times. Granny had her share of these times in her life. She had to work really hard to take care of herself and 5 children, alone at times. This could make a person become self-absorbed, yet she still was able to see when others needed help. She could look outside of herself and her world and see the bigger picture. I think that's a really important skill to finding contentment. Sometimes when really hard things happen it takes something else. My Granny outlived 3 of her children. She had to let 3 of her babies go on before her. I can't imagine that there is much more difficult than that. How do you find a life of contentment after an unthinkable loss or tragedy? It's probably much easier to stay inside yourself and the pain and anger that you feel so intensely than it is to look outside yourself and find things to be grateful for. Sometimes you don't even want to try. Because it doesn't feel right or fair or you don't even want to feel content.

These times call for the big guns. Faith. Patience. Stillness. Granny had incredible faith and in that, found an amazing strength. When you don't know how to be content, you have to have faith that one day you will. You have to believe that you will come out of the hurt or tragedy on the other side. Even though you can't imagine how at the moment. Granny prayed a lot. I wonder how many prayers she sent up in her lifetime. Prayers for her family, prayers for her friends, prayers for strangers and prayers for herself on those days that she struggled to find peace and contentment. These really hard periods have been a struggle for me in the past. Mainly because they last for a while. There is no where you can go, nothing you can do to change it. You have to be patient and wait until it passes. I haven't had the best coping mechanisms for these situations in the past. I hope that can be chalked up to being young. I hope I can handle these things better in the future. I hope to take a lesson from my Granny (and my Mother) when I need to. Stillness. Sometimes you have to just be still. Pray. Wait. Repeat. Until one day it is easier to be grateful. Easier to find that contentment.

Granny made this look easy. She had a joyful spirit that couldn't be dampened. She didn't spend her time focusing on unhealthy things like judgement or comparison or worry. She poured her time into things like love and laughter and service. She welcomed joy and fun and happiness with open arms. Granny made an impact and impression on so many people. My uncle, who preached her service, said that she had a strong field of gravity. She did. I think it's because of the things she chose to focus on. Everyone wanted to be around her. We are the things we give our energy to. Our energy is precious. Our choices are precious. I don't want to waste mine.